| so unknown. |
[May. 9th, 2009|02:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
Went to California on my days off.
We went to Disneyland after it was closed to participate in "Minnies Moonlight Madness." It was basically a scavenger hunt for the employees and their guests. It was really-really fun... I just wish Karli felt better!
I love going to see Chris T. We're so much on the same level it's ridiculous. I fell asleep texting him all night, just in a friendly way, but we just connect so much it makes me smile. He wanted me to stay and he'd drive me home to Vegas the next day, but I wasn't going to do that. He's always so stoked to see me, and texts me constantly when I'm in LA, but the minute he's in town (Vegas) with his girlfriend (who used to be my good friend) he acts like nobody exists. It makes me feel like everything else is a lie. He's such a different person in California and other people. It's just weird. I still love him though.
Amanda and I wanted to stay at the beach a lot longer than we did, but Kristen had to have her way. She wasn't being a bitch about it, I could have told her NO, but I know how she is. She can either be so super cool or so... not super cool. I still love her though, too.
Javi and I aren't together. We haven't been since last Thursday. It was all because of a fight and things that I don't want to even talk about. I know he's going through a lot with his Dad having cancer, and I'm completely there for him 100%. But... we're different people. Much alike, but completely different. We just have to figure out how to make it work. We're cool with each other, we both have a strong love for each other, we just can't figure out how to use it. We'll learn, we'll grow. Our relationship is, for the most part, mature though, and I like that. I haven't talked to anyone about it because I don't like when people come to their own conclusions or judgments, because it's nothing like that. I just refuse to change in to someone that I am not... and I feel very strongly about it.
Amanda and I love Barstow ice cream. |
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| we accept the love we think we deserve. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2009|05:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Silence. | ] |
After having probably ten live-journals since I've been 16, I think it's finally time to settle down. Over the years, I've tried to be somebody I'm not; come up with some 'cool' screen name and talk about all of the 'cool' things that I've done (that now I'm not proud of). Although reading them is wonderful and crazy to see how much I've grown (or haven't), all of the 'cool' screen names won't be so cool anymore, and my interests will change. One thing that wont change is Megan Suzanne; my name. It's time to figure out who I really am, not just who I'm trying to be.
In my first journal, I was talking about boys, my acting class, the suncoast, getting dRuNk OmG, high school, my first boyfriend. In later journals, I lost my precious dog (which was the worst day of my life), my 'wonderful' (ha) boyfriend and I had broken up, I graduated high school, and I got my first jobs. Recently, my oldest sister Misty passed away.. a pain I still can't bare and my grandma, my best friend, has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. Life is hitting me. Really fucking hard.
I'm still a kid. I still have this freakish fear of growing up, I'm still partying, I'm still ignorant and naive. But wherever I'm heading... it will be in the right direction. Today is the first day of 09'. The first day of my life. I'm praying this is a good year. I'm hoping my life is a good run. One day I'll look back at this and laugh.
FRIENDS ONLY.
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